1st Lady’s Blog: Church Decorum Series: Prayer For All Occasions

Church Decorum Series: Prayer

Lesson Three: Prayer | Lesson Two: Learn To Be A Student | Lesson One: Be Observant

Let’s say you visit a church, find that you really like it, and are extended the right hand of fellowship. You meet with the Pastor and agree to abide by the rules and regulations of the church. But then you start asking yourself, “What rules am I supposed to keep?”

Have you ever found yourself in this predicament?

When I went to the first Church Of God In Christ International Holy Convocation held in St. Louis, I was impressed, but a little disheartened, by a book that our Presiding Bishop and Mother Blake wrote about how the saints should deport themselves. While the information was very useful, I was surprised that we needed to be told some very basic things.

Then I remembered when I first came to the holiness church. Can you believe I did not even own a dress! I did not know what to say or what to do. I felt so inadequate those first few times I visited.

For those of us who have been in the church for a long time, we tend to assume that everyone knows the basics of church decorum. But over time, I’ve come to realize that there are just some things we won’t know – unless we are taught.

Well have no fear, this year I am here to help! It’s 2013, a brand new year, and I will be focusing on church decorum – those things we wished someone told us so we wouldn’t have felt out in left field while everyone else was in right. I’ll be covering lots of topics, including presiding, speaking and teaching; praying for different occasions; dressing modestly; altar work and laying on of hands and more. I’ll also be taking topics from you! Simply email your suggestion to Blog@holinesstabernaclecogic.org and you just may find your idea as the focus of one of my monthly blog posts.

Before we begin, I would like to start with a disclaimer: RULES AND REGULATIONS DIFFER FROM CHURCH TO CHURCH. IT IS ALWAYS WISE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE PARTICULAR CHURCH YOU ATTEND.

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Saying Grace: Have you ever had this happen to you? You sit down for dinner, really hungry and ready to eat, when they ask someone to bless the food. You close your eyes and bow your head… when all of a sudden, the next thing you hear is the Church Of God In Christ “Yes Lord” hymn being sung out of tune. You peek slightly out of the corner of one eye to see what is going on. To your chagrin, they have asked the wrong person to bless the food. It’s the person who does not know the meaning of the word brief. So you slump your shoulders and hope no one hears your stomach growling. Although you do not want someone to just say, “Jesus wept,” before you begin your meal, you also don’t want someone who wants to have tarrying service when it’s time to bless the food.

According to our friend Mr. Miriam Webster, grace is defined as a short prayer at a meal asking a blessing or giving thanks. I want to bring your attention to a few words in this definition. First is the word “short.” It should not take more than about a minute or two to bless food. Secondly, are the words “giving thanks.” This is not the time to ask God to bless the President or the heads of state. The purpose of saying grace is to acknowledge to God that you are grateful for providing the food you are about to consume.

Here are a few more examples of how we should pray for different occasions:

Extended Prayer: One thing I notice at my church is that when we are having extended prayer, people tend to congregate at the back of the church because they are afraid to walk during the prayer. If extended prayer is going on, prayer that you know will last 15 minutes or more, the best thing to do is to walk quickly and quietly to your seat and join in the prayer.

Invocation: When the invocation begins at the start of a service, everyone should be on their feet – including children. This is the time when we are asking the presence of Lord to come into our service, so we stand out of respect to Him. You should not walk or talk during this time. If you are the one praying, remember to include everyone in the prayer and use words like “we” and “us.”  This is not the time to pray a selfish prayer. Asking God to bless you and your family and your career… would not be appropriate at this time.

Public Prayer: If you have been asked to pray by a public or civic organization, it is okay to write down your prayer so you won’t stumble over your words. This will also help if you usually get nervous speaking in public. Rehearse the prayer so you’ll read it with fluidity. These are appropriate times to pray for the heads of state.

Private Prayer: Many people say that they don’t know how to pray. Prayer is just communication with God. Just talk to God as if you were talking to a friend. The more you talk to God the easier it becomes. This is the time you get to ask God questions. You should set aside a specific time to pray as this will help discipline you to do it faithfully. If you don’t, time will always get away from you. During private prayer, you confess your faults before God. This should not be done during the invocation. Private prayer is a time you can be “selfish” and pray for yourself and your loved ones. You can also use this time to help you prepare to pray in front of people. One suggestion I give people is to pray the Psalms. They contain some beautiful prayers to God.

Travailing Prayer: You don’t hear much about this type of prayer anymore. The older saints used this term to refer to prayer that requires an emptying out of yourself. This is the time to ask God to help you break strongholds in your life; things that you are having difficulty overcoming or are a constant struggle for you. You keep praying until you feel you have broken through to God and you can hear Him respond to you. This prayer requires more than just a few minutes. Sometimes you’ll even run out of words to say. It’s okay, just listen and hear God.

Sadly, many people don’t understand the value of prayer. I see people purposefully come to service late or right after prayer is finished. They are doing themselves a disservice. Prayer is essential to the life of a Christian. The Bible admonishes us that we “ought always to pray” (Luke 18:1 KJV). You cannot develop a close relationship with someone if you don’t spend time talking to them. Likewise, if we want to get closer to God, we must strive to develop a meaningful and consistent prayer life.