1st Lady’s Blog: The Dress Code

Church Decorum Series: The Dress Code

Lesson Six: The Dress Code
Lesson Five: Altar Ministry
Lesson Four: Presiding | Lesson Three: Prayer | Lesson Two: Learn To Be A Student | Lesson One: Be Observant

Let’s say you visit a church, find that you really like it, and are extended the right hand of fellowship. You meet with the Pastor and agree to abide by the rules and regulations of the church. But then you start asking yourself, “What rules am I supposed to keep?”

Have you ever found yourself in this predicament?

When I went to the first Church Of God In Christ International Holy Convocation held in St. Louis, I was impressed, but a little disheartened, by a book that our Presiding Bishop and Mother Blake wrote about how the saints should deport themselves. While the information was very useful, I was surprised that we needed to be told some very basic things.

Then I remembered when I first came to the holiness church. Can you believe I did not even own a dress! I did not know what to say or what to do. I felt so inadequate those first few times I visited.

For those of us who have been in the church for a long time, we tend to assume that everyone knows the basics of church decorum. But over time, I’ve come to realize that there are just some things we won’t know – unless we are taught.

Well have no fear, this year I am here to help! It’s 2013, a brand new year, and I will be focusing on church decorum – those things we wished someone told us so we wouldn’t have felt out in left field while everyone else was in right. I’ll be covering lots of topics, including presiding, speaking and teaching; praying for different occasions; dressing modestly; altar work and laying on of hands and more. I’ll also be taking topics from you! Simply email your suggestion to Blog@holinesstabernaclecogic.org and you just may find your idea as the focus of one of my monthly blog posts.

Before we begin, I would like to start with a disclaimer: RULES AND REGULATIONS DIFFER FROM CHURCH TO CHURCH. IT IS ALWAYS WISE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE PARTICULAR CHURCH YOU ATTEND.

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It’s that time of the year! The flowers start to bloom. We hear the sounds of birds chirping in the morning. Our senses awake to the beginning of summer and its warm, balmy weather. But as we embrace this new season, let us not forget one thing: the dress code (yes, I have to go there)!

The world constantly puts out new fashions and styles. Sometimes these fashions are modest, but most times they are not. We simply cannot expect the world to be governed by the same set of moral codes that we as Christians govern ourselves. And while summer is a time to shed our bulky winter clothes, let us not shed off our modesty. Particularly when we come to church, we must remember that it is the house of the Lord and treat it with reverence and respect.

As a Pastor’s wife, I keep certain items in my office which are always needed. Stockings, safety pins, scissors, needle and thread, nail polish remover and lap scarves to name a few. Ladies and gents, let us help keep each other saved and focused on Christ – not on our cute outfits! A fetish is defined as an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification. Sadly, there are people in the church who have all types of fetishes, and as women of God we must do our part to dress appropriately so as not to excite these passions.

So as a friendly reminder, here are a few things to take note of when getting dressed this summer:

Foundation: I’m not talking about the one you wear on your face. I’m talking about the one you wear under your clothes. There are a few items every woman should invest in: seamless panties (that won’t show under your clothes), supportive bras (keeping the “girls” in check when the Spirit moves on you), a good girdle (not the kind grandma used to wear, but necessary to tuck in the “jellies” and “love handles”), and some camisoles (read on and you’ll see why).

Sleeveless: Remember to wear outfits with sleeves, making sure you cover your armpits (you never know who has that fetish). Plus there is nothing worse than looking at an unshaved, hairy armpit. Invest in some shrugs or cardigans to wear over sleeveless dresses and blouses.

Length Matters: Please watch the length of your skirts. It is hard for others to stay focused on the service when you’re showing an ample amount of leg. If you wear a long skirt, check the split – you may not even realize that it’s going “too far north.” Also, I recommend that you practice sitting at home before you come to church. For example, if you’re planning to wear a skirt with a front or side split, sit in a chair at home first to see how high your skirt rises. What may look long while you’re standing can look completely different when you sit down. And always keep a spare lap scarf in your purse in case you forget the cute one that goes with your outfit.

Sheer Beauty: There are some lovely, sheer dresses and blouses on the market. Unfortunately, they are not modest apparel. You should invest in camisoles to wear under sheer blouses. Camisoles are inexpensive and come in many colors. My personal favorites are the ones that have tummy control. They keep the “love handles” (which are not lovely) from spilling over your waist and showing through your suits and blouses. Camisoles will also prevent what they call "raisins" from showing through your blouse.

Low Cut: Camisoles also serve another great purpose. They cover up everything that low-cut dresses and blouses like to show. Not exactly sure when it’s necessary to wear a camisole? Let me recommend this rule: if you put on a dress or blouse and can see any part of the “crack,” you need a camisole. And remember, sometimes the “crack” is hidden… until we bend over! A strategically placed camisole can help with that as well.

“Gaposis”: The first time I ever heard that terminology was from a former human resource manager. She had just crossed off an interviewee from her list because of it. Women who are “well endowed” should be aware of "gaposis." Our blouses seem to take on a life of their own and gap open! Keeping safety pins in your purse is a good way to quickly remedy this. You can also borrow a safety pin from one of your sisters (we like to keep so many in our purses).

I will leave you with one note of caution. Do not try to enforce dress codes on visitors. This would not make a good first impression and you may offend them. The old adage is still true: you must first catch the fish before you scale it.

These are just a few gentle reminders for us to continue to dress modestly as the Bible admonishes us. Who knows – you may become the “Go to Queen” at your church and set up a kit with some essentials to help the ladies at your church!