Let’s Take This Journey Together: Concerning Marriage
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Hello ladies, and welcome to my blog! The year 2014 is behind us – which means it’s time to say goodbye to my Women of the Bible Series. I must say, as I wrote about each of those pivotal women, learning the way they thought, felt and realizing their experiences were not much different than our experiences today, I found myself connecting with each of them in a special way. I hope you learned from them as I did.
This year I am shifting focus again. As a teacher, my students know that one of my favorite sayings is, “Let’s take this journey together!” So, I decided to make this the title of my 2015 blog. This year, I will be answering questions that many of us have about this Christian journey, but may be afraid to ask. All questions are submitted anonymously, and I will answer your questions using Biblical principles and drawing from my personal experiences. So if you have a question or would like to comment, feel free to submit them – you just may see your question addressed and answered on my blog! I look forward to another year of sharing with you. Let’s Take This Journey Together!
Taking this journey together,
First Lady Vivian Pruitte
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QUESTION: Is it wrong to have close, platonic friendships of the opposite sex now that I am married? What if I am uncomfortable with some of my husband’s platonic relationships – how do I address those without sounding like the “jealous” wife?
ANSWER: Before my husband and I were married we each had platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Some were even close friendships. I remember in particular a young lady that was very close to my husband. One of the things my husband did so the “green eyed monster" would not creep up in me was bring me into the friendship he and the young lady shared. Since our lives took different paths, the friendship dissipated over the years.
I am not a big proponent of husbands and wives maintaining platonic relationships with the opposite sex, especially when the other spouse in not a part of that relationship. This leaves space for the Enemy to come in and cause division in the marriage. You don't want one spouse always wondering if you and your friend are discussing your marital relationship or other private matters. Not to mention, always hearing the other person’s name may lead to comparisons or jealousies.
Married couples should instead seek relationships with other married couples. Platonic, single friends still talk about their single life, which may cause a spouse to start "reminiscing" about his or her single days. Furthermore, if the platonic friend is married, it may also cause friction in their own household. When you have married friends, you have the common bond of already being married and you can do things together as couples without one feeling like the "third wheel".
If you feel uncomfortable with some of your husband's platonic relationships, you need to discuss this with your husband. You may also try to develop a relationship with that woman, with the hopes that she will become both of your friends instead of just his friend. If she is not a person with whom you wish to share a friendship, then talk to your husband about how uncomfortable she or their relationship makes you feel. Try not to bring it up during an argument or you may be accused of sounding like the "jealous" wife.
A marital relationship is the closest relationship there is so you don't want to allow anything or anyone to come between you and your spouse, even if it is innocent. You want to maintain good communication between you and your spouse, but you will not be happy if you just keep your feelings to yourself and never mention your concerns. So have a nice dinner, share a laugh and start talking. Hope this helps. Happy Marriage!