Tunnel Vision
By Sis. Dei Ashilei Nikoi
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.” – Henry Ford
“Are you looking at me?” she asked as she stared at me bewildered. She looked back, trying to figure out if there was someone behind her, someone who I otherwise could have been staring at. Of course, there was no one. I thought to tell her I was looking past her, that my eyes were fixated on the black and white poster of Marilyn Monroe bleach blonds silhouette. However, I wasn’t in the mood to lie. Though I should never be in any mood to lie, I was eager to avoid the coming conversation. “Yes, I’m looking at you,” I sighed back. I thought to pause, maybe give her a chance to respond, but before she could say another word, I chimed in. I explained that I was born with strabismus – an eye condition that has as its main symptom a very obvious wandering eye. Medically, it means that I have weak eye muscles. However socially, it means I got called “cock-eyed” as a child.
It was, and to an extent, is still one of my least favorite features. The extent of my strabismus is not by any means the worst case, but when I get really tired or am sleep deprived, it becomes noticeable. Outside of the infamous childhood ridicule, the worst part about having strabismus is that I have to actively focus my eyes. I can feel my eyes wandering sometimes, mostly when I’ve been staring at the same thing for long periods of time. I have to force myself to keep my eyes straight. It takes real work. Some days, I don’t have the energy and just blink my eyes back into focus.
Thankfully, the older I get, the better I become at focusing my eyes. Thus, the disease becomes much less noticeable. Most people have no idea that I have a wandering eye anymore because now I am an expert at focusing my eyes.
As a rededicated Christian, my walk with God is much like having strabismus. The fact that I call myself “rededicated” says it all. Rededicating means that I obviously must have dedicated myself once (make that many times) before. Well just like with my eyes, I wandered away. Despite knowing that God has always wanted me, I wandered away from him because, just as I said with my eyes, staying focused takes real work. And living in this world makes it easy to lose that focus.
Today, I was sitting around wasting some time I could have been using to talk with God, so I decided to go read my Bible. I ended up in Matthew 14:22-36. It’s when Jesus walked on water and Peter asked to come to Him. And Jesus obliged. However, when Peter noticed the boisterous winds, he became scared and started to fall. Many Christians, especially those who are not as strong in their faith, wander away from God when obstacles arise. But obstacles only become obstacles when we allow them to be. Peter had Jesus right there. Jesus was prepared, willing and able to carry Peter across the water, but Peter looked away. Peter allowed his eyes to wander. Just like Jesus did for Peter, God carries us. He NEVER wanders away. He is always prepared, willing and able to bring us through anything because he has a beautiful destiny prepared for us.
Despite God being ready to carry us, we have to trust that He will and not become scared when things become hard. If we spend more time looking to God, He’ll be able to do all that He desires to do for us.
So I challenge you to develop a holy tunnel vision. That way, we’ll only see God and He will become the focus of our lives. In seeing God, we’ll see everything and we’ll accomplish anything.