First Lady’s Blog: Q&A Concerning Singlehood

Let’s Take This Journey Together: Concerning Singlehood

Concerning Women of God | Concerning Women of God | Concerning Ministry

Hello ladies, and welcome to my blog! The year 2014 is behind us – which means it’s time to say goodbye to my Women of the Bible Series. I must say, as I wrote about each of those pivotal women, learning the way they thought, felt and realizing their experiences were not much different than our experiences today, I found myself connecting with each of them in a special way. I hope you learned from them as I did.

This year I am shifting focus again. As a teacher, my students know that one of my favorite sayings is, “Let’s take this journey together!” So, I decided to make this the title of my 2015 blog. This year, I will be answering questions that many of us have about this Christian journey, but may be afraid to ask. All questions are submitted anonymously, and I will answer your questions using Biblical principles and drawing from my personal experiences. So if you have a question or would like to comment, feel free to submit them – you just may see your question addressed and answered on my blog! I look forward to another year of sharing with you. Let’s Take This Journey Together!

Taking this journey together,

First Lady Vivian Pruitte

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QUESTION: If you are a single woman who has been sexually active and you get saved, is it a sin to indulge in self-pleasure?  If you are single and a virgin, is self-pleasure a sin?

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ANSWER: I must admit that this question hit a nerve with me and I had a difficult time approaching it. What makes it difficult to answer is because it takes me to certain experiences from my childhood – things that I have not shared publicly. I had to have the Lord heal me from my past in order to function as a “normal” person. So, let me give you my story and see if it can shed some light for you.

When you become sexually active it opens up a part of you that had been sealed. Once the seal is broken, it’s never the same. When that part of you is opened, you will always crave that sensation – like the drug addict that is always chasing that first high. Sex is more than just a physical thing. It involves emotions and feelings. The Lord knew this when He created sex for a husband and wife to partake in: for procreation, recreation and communication. The relation between a husband and wife is one of the closest, because when they come together, it is the knitting of two souls as one.

Unfortunately for the new believer, when you become saved, that craving does not disappear. You have to continually pray to keep that urge under control. I used to wonder why some of the young ladies in church were in no rush to get married, while those who had been previously married could not wait to be married again. Then I realized it was that craving. The ladies who were virgins were in no hurry because they have not yet been sexually active. The ones who had been active had a more intense craving.

When you accept Christ as your Savior, you get a clean slate. If you really struggle with self-pleasure, you may need to fast and pray until that hold is broken. You’ll need to abstain from things that will stir up the urge to indulge in self-pleasure. Start by guarding your eyes and the things you watch. Television is full of shows and movies that have very little plot and very much sex. Another practical tip: walk away from the bed and occupy yourself with something else. Exercise can be a good distraction for your mind and body. Ultimately, you want to stay away from things or places that will prompt some of these urges.

Virgin or not, the Lord wants us to be morally and sexually pure. I Thessalonians 4: 3-5 (ESV) tells us, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” We are to honor the Lord with our body and reserve it for marriage.

Now, let me share a piece of my own story. I was sexually abused as a child. Being abused has so many devastating impacts on you. It not only affects you physically, but emotionally and mentality. The abuser ends up having a great power over you. During the abuse you don’t fully understand what is happening because of your youth and innocence. Your body might feel pleasure, but at the same time your mind is telling you that the abuse is not right. Self-pleasure can be one of the lasting effects of this abuse. I had to deal with this for a major part of my life until the Lord broke that yoke. I had to take it one day at a time, not unlike an alcoholic or a person with an addiction. I had to ask for forgiveness every time I fell until complete deliverance came. These are the types of things we struggle with that nobody sees, but the Lord does see and it will hinder our growth and potential in God. I pray this small piece of my story, and my testimony of how God gave me the power to overcome, helps you in your journey as a blessed single person in God.