Let’s Take This Journey Together: Concerning Singlehood
Concerning Singlehood | Concerning Women of God | Concerning Women of God
Concerning Women of God | Concerning Women of God | Concerning Ministry
Hello ladies, and welcome to my blog! The year 2014 is behind us – which means it’s time to say goodbye to my Women of the Bible Series. I must say, as I wrote about each of those pivotal women, learning the way they thought, felt and realizing their experiences were not much different than our experiences today, I found myself connecting with each of them in a special way. I hope you learned from them as I did.
This year I am shifting focus again. As a teacher, my students know that one of my favorite sayings is, “Let’s take this journey together!” So, I decided to make this the title of my 2015 blog. This year, I will be answering questions that many of us have about this Christian journey, but may be afraid to ask. All questions are submitted anonymously, and I will answer your questions using Biblical principles and drawing from my personal experiences. So if you have a question or would like to comment, feel free to submit them – you just may see your question addressed and answered on my blog! I look forward to another year of sharing with you. Let’s Take This Journey Together!
Taking this journey together,
First Lady Vivian Pruitte
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QUESTION: I’m educated, have a good job and live on my own. Unfortunately, I don’t find very many men (especially in the church) who appear to be “on my level” financially. How important is it to be equally yoked in that area of our lives – or should I primarily focus on whether we’re equally yoked spiritually?
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ANSWER: Years ago this was not an issue. Men generally made more money and were more educated because women dedicated themselves to their homes and raising their families. Times have changed and many women have sought higher education, entering the workforce and delaying marriage and children. When they seek to marry, they may find that men their age are already married or are not at their level in education or finances. This seems to be a challenge young ladies are facing – especially in today’s church.
A few years ago I decided to return to college to obtain my Bachelor's degree – some 20 plus years since I had been in school. I noticed immediately is that more women than men were attending the university. More and more women are obtaining higher education today. As a result, many young women are faced with marrying less educated men, increasing the likelihood that they will potentially make more money than their spouses.
A woman making more than her spouse would beg the question, who is now the head of the home? The Bible clearly says that the man is the head, but how can he be the head if the woman is the major financial contributor? This then leads us to the question of being unequally yoked. If we read the scripture it says, "be not unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14a). To be clear, this scripture is not concerned with race or economic status. It is concerned with you and your potential spouse's relationship with Christ.
While not impossible, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find men in the church (or otherwise) who have a high level of education. Both you and your potential spouse will have to ask yourselves: will money be a problem in the relationship? Will it hinder you or will you work out a balance on how and who will pay what expenses? A word of caution – don't allow money to take precedence in your relationship! Control it and don't allow it to control the relationship. Go over how expenses will be handled beforehand; creating a budget together would be a wise decision.
What if you already have your own home and he does not? I recommend that you find a place together instead of having him just move in or if it’s more economical to keep yours add both names to the deed. I find that when the man brings nothing to contribute financially, it becomes a serious problem in the marriage and the woman ends up controlling everything. This in turn makes them both resentful, sparking confusion about who's the head. While the man should make a financial contribution, being the head is more than making a financial contribution – it is leading your family spiritually and emotionally. A man can be the head even if the woman makes more money, because he can be a greater contributor in those other areas. By keeping this in mind, money will no longer become such a debatable issue in the relationship.