What Our Son Taught Me about God
By Missionary Danielle B. Powell
At 10:29am on Wednesday, February 11, our world was forever changed for the better. It was at that exact moment that our first born son, Benjamin, entered the world. Though he had long-before captured our hearts – from the moment we sensed him growing inside of me – hearing his first cries, seeing his wrinkled body up close and holding him in our arms for the first time were moments, incredible to describe and forever etched in our memories.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
In the minutes following his birth, the nurse informed us of some health complications and our little guy would have to immediately go to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at the local hospital where he was delivered. By 3:00am that Friday morning, Benjamin was meditransported to the National Children’s Hospital in Washington, DC. The health complications were becoming more serious by the hour and local doctors were unable to find a cause or a cure.
I’ll spoil the ending of the story and let you know that God came through in a miraculous way and completely healed our son! Today, Benjamin shows none of the “tellers” that doctors warned could follow him as he develops and grows – he is walking, talking, playing with his toys, clapping his hands and all of the other things a one-year-old enjoys doing. He has brought so much joy to our lives!
But those two weeks in the DC hospital NICU were by far some of the scariest moments of our lives – of my life. I would hold Benjamin in my arms, and at times, ask God if this would be the last time I’d get to embrace our precious little boy.
You may wonder, how did I get through that experience? Did I lose faith in God?
The truth is, there were some challenging, but very important lessons that I learned during those frightening weeks of uncertainty and I’ll share a few of them:
1. It’s okay to be afraid sometimes. Wow. Talk about a freeing statement. When I first began sharing my testimony, I wondered if I should admit the fear that gripped my heart. Wouldn’t that negate all that I proclaim as a believer in Christ? What I’ve come to realize is that fear is a human condition that we will all face at some point. I learned that it’s okay to be afraid sometimes, but there is a difference between having moments of fear and having a spirit of fear.
2. When you’re afraid, always turn to the greater One. The one benefit of admitting our fear is that it forces us to recognize our inadequacies and hang on desperately to our Creator. Indeed, this is the key to not allowing the spirit of fear overtake us – we must turn toward God and not away from Him during the scary moments in our lives.
3. Trust God to keep His promises. One thing I continued to hold to while I sat in that hospital room, seeing our little boy hooked with tubes to monitors that beeped throughout the night, were the promises that God had given me concerning my son while he was still in my womb. It was my lifeline and my faith builder. I learned that it’s okay to remind God what He has promised – and then stand on His Word with expectation that He will bring it to pass.
4. Believe that He won’t put more on you than you can bear. This one is a hard pill to swallow, because in the moment it can really seem like what you’re facing is unbearable. But our God is a God of His Word and I learned to take it one day at a time. In fact, I distinctly remember God telling me during one of my “why me, God?” moments – “Because, I knew you could bear it!” And not that I could bear it alone. No, God knew that I would take whatever burdens came my way and lay them back at the Master’s feet.
5. No matter the outcome, know that God is always in control. Ours was a happy ending. But, that’s not always the case. No matter what, we must trust and believe that God is always in control. He knows the beginning and the ending and there is nothing that can occur outside of His purview. We must put into practice an attitude that says, “no matter the outcome, my God is yet in control! He sees all that I am going through and He is working it out for my good.”
The biggest lesson I received while Benjamin was in the hospital was really a refresher course. I was reminded that the God I serve is great and mighty! And when my faith starts to waver and fear begins to creep into my heart, the love of my heavenly Father envelops me and encourages me to stick it out with Him. His Spirit comes in and reminds me of the Lord’s never-losing track record. The prayers of a great cloud of witnesses – godly family, friends and leaders – lift my spirit and carry me until I am able to stand again. And the steadfast, confident strength of my husband serves as a living example of what it means to go through the trenches, side by side with someone, and come out with a powerful testimony.
As Benjamin grew inside of me, we would spend hours dreaming about the many ways we would teach him – how to say his first words, how to read a book, how to ride a bike and so much more. I never would have imagined that at only two weeks old, our little guy would be used by God to instruct us in mighty ways – how to put our faith and confidence in the Lord, how to cast all of our cares upon Him, how to be a light in the midst of personally dark and turbulent times.
We thank God for those lessons. We thank God for our son.