Call for the Wailing Women: A Wail for Our Fathers
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Saturday, June 9th from 8:00-9:30am ET
While almost any man can father a child, there is so much more to the important role of being dad in a child’s life. Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children. Studies show that if a father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to his child’s cognitive, language, social development, sense of well-being, and self-esteem.
Girls will look for men who have some of the qualities of their father. If their father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will find themselves attracted to men with like characteristics. Boys on the other hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in what they do and imitate those behaviors that they recognize as norms growing up with their fathers. If dad is abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the examples that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to follow suit.
Some fathers chose to walk away from their families and leave behind children to deal with the social, financial, and emotional impact on their lives. Other fathers are forced out by situations beyond their control, divested from the right to parent their children. Whatever the reason, scholars all agree that having a father absent from a child’s life can negatively impact the life of that child.
I did not grow up with a father in the home. I met my father when I was 13 years old. He sent for me to come visit him in my native country of the Dominican Republic. While I was thrilled to finally meet him and had many expectations, I found the situation to be rather awkward. All my other half-siblings found it very easy to call him dad because he had played a major role in their lives. I found it quite difficult connecting to him as a father and spent the whole summer avoiding having to call him dad. Since I felt it would be disrespectful to call him by his proper name, I just waited until he looked at me to talk to him. While I had a great summer with him, it was short lived because he ended all communication with me when I returned to the states.
While I didn’t have a father in my life growing up, I did have a couple of father figures. Most notably was my great-grandfather, a man I easily called papa growing up in the Dominican Republic. He was only in my life for the six years I spent there, but I have some of the most precious memories of my papa. He was the one who sat me on his lap and read to me. The one who tossed my up in the air when I was very young. The one who worried about me when I was sick. He taught me that a man got up early in the morning and went to work to support his family. But even after being tired from work, he had time to play with me and my brothers. These are some of the qualities I looked for and found in my own husband who is a great father to our children.
Fathers and father figures are essential to development and well-being of children. Let us take up a wail this month for fathers. Let us pray that the Lord raises up fathers and helps them to realize how important they are to their children and families. Additionally, let us pray that society recognizes the value of fathers and not tear them down and devalue them.