Church Decorum Series: Discouragement
Lesson Ten: Discouragement
Lesson Nine: Punctuality
Lesson Eight: Visitors | Lesson Seven: Fasting | Lesson Six: The Dress Code | Lesson Five: Altar Ministry
Lesson Four: Presiding | Lesson Three: Prayer | Lesson Two: Learn To Be A Student | Lesson One: Be Observant
Let’s say you visit a church, find that you really like it, and are extended the right hand of fellowship. You meet with the Pastor and agree to abide by the rules and regulations of the church. But then you start asking yourself, “What rules am I supposed to keep?”
Have you ever found yourself in this predicament?
When I went to the first Church Of God In Christ International Holy Convocation held in St. Louis, I was impressed, but a little disheartened, by a book that our Presiding Bishop and Mother Blake wrote about how the saints should deport themselves. While the information was very useful, I was surprised that we needed to be told some very basic things.
Then I remembered when I first came to the holiness church. Can you believe I did not even own a dress! I did not know what to say or what to do. I felt so inadequate those first few times I visited.
For those of us who have been in the church for a long time, we tend to assume that everyone knows the basics of church decorum. But over time, I’ve come to realize that there are just some things we won’t know – unless we are taught.
Well have no fear, this year I am here to help! It’s 2013, a brand new year, and I will be focusing on church decorum – those things we wished someone told us so we wouldn’t have felt out in left field while everyone else was in right. I’ll be covering lots of topics, including presiding, speaking and teaching; praying for different occasions; dressing modestly; altar work and laying on of hands and more. I’ll also be taking topics from you! Simply email your suggestion to Blog@holinesstabernaclecogic.org and you just may find your idea as the focus of one of my monthly blog posts.
Before we begin, I would like to start with a disclaimer: RULES AND REGULATIONS DIFFER FROM CHURCH TO CHURCH. IT IS ALWAYS WISE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE PARTICULAR CHURCH YOU ATTEND.
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Most people don’t know that Spanish is my native language and English is actually my second. I came to this country as a young child and learned English through the Public School System of New York City, and with the help of Sesame Street. I have retained my native tongue, but it is not until I am visiting with my mother that I notice how much of my Spanish I have lost. I struggle with some basic words; they just seem to escape me. I find myself having to describe to my mother what I am trying to say and then she supplies the word I was searching for in my mind.
When you don’t practice something on a consistent basis you tend to lose it little by little. It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s actually a gradual process. This reminds me of when I see people in church begin to drift away from the faith. They don’t leave all at once, but they gradually begin to drift. People usually drift because they become discouraged. Discouragement is a great weapon the enemy uses to take us out of relationship with Christ.
Discouragement is not something that is reserved for the new convert, it can come at anytime and it can affect even people who have been walking in the way of holiness for a while. You can be going along fine and then a traumatic event, whether at home, work or in the church, can send you spiraling down into the depths of discouragement. You then find yourself no longer having that fervor you once had for the things of God. Wondering whether discouragement has a foothold in your life and commitment to the church? You may be in danger if any of these signs apply to you or someone you know:
- Sitting in the Back – You used to sit close to the front so you could be closer to “the fire,” but now you find yourself sitting further and further back. Whenever we see this, out the door is usually the next step.
- Skipping Services – Whereas you were once excited about coming to church, you now find it harder to get there. Something always comes up to keep you from attending services. You’ll begin to call the Pastor with excuses, until finally, you don’t call at all.
- Feeling Strange – When you come back after skipping a few services, you feel out of place, as if people are staring at you. You think that they are talking about you, when in actuality, they are just glad that you came back.
- Them Instead of Us – You talk about the church as if you are no longer a part of it. You start to say things like, “they decided…,” “they are doing…,” instead of “we decided…,” and “we are doing…”
- Spending Time with the Disgruntled – You find yourself spending time and having things in common with people who are disgruntled with the church. Whereas at one time you would not find yourself in this company, you now relish it.
- Lack of Involvement – You withdraw yourself from the activities of the church and even begin to resign from some of your positions saying things like, “I have too much going in your life right now.”
- A Complaining Spirit – You complain about everything the church does and start to go against the grain. As you complain to others, they begin to catch that same spirit.
- Taking Things Personally – You take everything as a personal attack. In your mind the preacher is talking about you in his message. Instead of realizing that God in His infinite wisdom is trying to send you warnings, you think that the preacher found out your business and is trying to let everyone know. What you’re experiencing, however, is God’s great love toward you. He wants you to stay on the right path so he uses man as a mouthpiece to reach you.
These are some of the signs that show that discouragement has set in and you may be in danger of leaving the church soon. If you see any of these signs in others, encourage and let them know that you are concerned about them and are praying for them. You may also want make them aware that you are available to lend an ear if need be. If you see these signs in yourself, do as David did and “encourage [yourself] in the Lord” (I Samuel 30:6b). Why don’t you grab your Bible and read Psalms, they can lift up your hung down head.
Your relationship with Christ is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. We must stay in church where we can practice our faith or we’ll begin to lose it as I have lost some of my Spanish. The more time I spend with my mother, the more I recover my Spanish. The more time we spend in the house of the Lord, the more faith we’ll recover. Don’t allow discouragement to take you away from the house of encouragement.